Scientists are (Usually) Fine
by Carpe-Plectrum
Summary: Carlos came to Night Vale with a team of scientists in order to study the most scientifically interesting community in the U.S. This story fills in the gaps of his life in Night Vale left by the podcast. Probably some romance in later chapters. Rated T because Night Vale.
1. Introduction

**Hello, readers. This is my first dip into Night Vale fanfiction. As you read in the description, I'll be going through Carlos' time in Night Vale, filling in the gaps left by the podcast. Updates will probably be pretty sporadic, but I appreciate your time.**

 **Disclaimer- I do not own Night Vale, all rights go to Joseph Fink and the rest of the Night Vale team.**

"Are you sure?" asked Travis, leaning forward from the middle seat of the station wagon. Delaney, who was sitting in the shotgun seat, nodded and jostled the GPS once more. "I don't know how I could have missed it. Must have gone out miles ago." She wedged her fingernails in the crack in the side and pulled the back off the small machine. It crackled with energy and spewed a cloud of black smoke.

She shouted in surprise and threw it out the window. Fredrick, the environmentalist, clicked his tongue from next to Travis. "That's bad for the biosphere." Delaney, a physicist, flipped her blond ponytail and scowled. "Well, sorry if you wanted me to suffocate from breathing in potentially poisonous gas. No idea how that happened, and now we have no directions. Think I should call the university?"

Carlos, who hadn't taken his eyes off the road yet, glanced at her. "Don't worry. It's pretty much a straight path. I'll be fine."

Delaney smiled as her nerdy, gay co-worker adjusted his glasses with one hand and continued diving. He was always calm and levelheaded, even in bizarre situations such as now. He would have made a good leader, she decided, even though Travis was older and had two more degrees. Apparently he had been too busy studying and hadn't "had time" to get a driver's license. Fredrick leaned forward and looked at the driver. His round glasses and freckles made his eyes look wide and concerned. "Well, cell phone reception apparently starts malfunctioning about ten miles away from the city, so you won't have much longer to call." Carlos shrugged. "We're in the middle of a desert. A big city shouldn't be that hard to find."

"Yes, but where is this desert? Last time I checked the GPS we were near the border of Arizona, but we've been in this desert for over an hour."

"That's just the way this city, Night Vale, I think it's called, works. It's not on government papers, it's not recognized by the media, and that was the only GPS system that acknowledged its existence."

Neal, the dark skinned geologist in the backseat, smiled mischievously. "I'm sure there's a reason for that. And I'm sure there's lots of things to science!"

The group of six laughed and exchanged high fives, except for Carlos, who was still driving. He grinned, and directed Delaney to check the thermometer attached to the windshield. Peeling it off, she turned it over. "It's- whoa!"

"What?" asked Carlos.

She turned it towards the others. It was a hundred and four, which was typical for a summer in a desert, but the typically red mercury was bright, poisonous green, sizzling quietly. Her brow was furrowed. "What is up with the microche-"

"I see something!" interrupted Carlos, leaning forward. "We should be almost there, and that's a sign, I think..."

The others leaned forward as well, squinting, and could make out a blurry purple figure, wavering in the heat. As they came closer, Carlos could see it was a strange, pinkish purple, with "Welcome to Night Vale" spelled out in florescent letters. It looked like any other country town entrance, other than a strange symbol above the words, like the shape of an eye with a crescent moon instead of a pupil.

"That's... not strange at all," said Delaney, still holding the thermometer.

"Do you think-" began Bethany, the last scientist, but was cut off by a screech from the radio. It had been humming quietly, but started blaring static at least five times louder than the music had been. Delaney yelped and tried to turn it off, but it refused to stop. The static rose to a fever pitch, and Delaney tried switching the channel. Nothing happened, until several tries later it died down. Strange, almost future-esque music slowly filled the car, and Carlos motioned up ahead. They were nearing a cluster of buildings, most of which were the same strange purple. They were all overlooked by a slim silver building, several stories higher than all the others. The music faded, and a deep, smooth, male voice sounded from the little radio. "A friendly desert community where the sun is hot, the moon is beautiful, and mysterious lights pass overhead while we all pretend to sleep. Welcome- to Night Vale."

 **The next chapters will almost definitely be longer, this is more or less an introduction to Carlos and the rest of his team. If you like what I do here and you want to help boost my self-confidence enough for me to continue adding more chapters as regularly as possible, please follow, favorite, or review. Thanks.**


	2. Dog Park

**Hi, just a quick note. I forgot to mention that I made up the names of the rest of the team of scientists, as those are not mentioned in the podcast. That's all, thanks.**

* * *

 _The music faded, and a deep, smooth, male voice sounded from the little radio. "A friendly desert community where the sun is hot, the moon is beautiful, and mysterious lights pass overhead while we all pretend to sleep. Welcome- to Night Vale."_ The strange music started again, and Delaney raised her eyebrows. "That's an interesting way to start a show."

Carlos nodded. "Do you have a map? The lab we're renting is to be next to a pizza place, I think."

Carlos looked out the window as Delaney unfolded the map. The sky seemed more of a turquoise than blue, and the scrubland of the desert was just visible behind a fairly nice housing development. All the houses were the same strange purple, just slightly different shades. The voice came back on the radio, and Carlos focused on it. "Hello listeners. To start things off, I've been asked to read this brief notice. The City Counsel announces the opening of a new dog park at the corner of Earl and Summerset, near the Ralph's."

"Turn here," said Delaney, and Carlos saw a Ralph's. At least, it kind of looked like a Ralph's. There was a bluish chemical fire burning in a can underneath the sign. So far, there had been nothing overly unusual in the town itself, other than the color of the buildings and the sky. A few people were out, strolling with headphones connected to portable radios. They all looked pretty normal, but he couldn't see much from the car window. Most of them, at least. Two people were dressed rather strangely, with completely black clothes, gloves, and balaclavas. The car went around the bend, just as the man on the radio said, "They would like to remind everyone that dogs are not allowed in the dog park."

Delaney started, frowning at the radio. Neal muttered, "What the hell-"

"People are not allowed in the dog park," continued the man calmly. "It is possible that you will see hooded figures in the dog park. Do not approach them. Do not approach the dog park. The fence is electrified and highly dangerous. Try not to look at the dog park, and especially do not look for any period of time at the hooded figures. The dog park will not harm you."

"What kind of a-" began Fredrick, but trailed off as they passed the dog park. It seemed to be made of a sheets of black metal wielded together with occasional slits. Signs reading "NO DOGS ALLOWED IN THE DOG PARK" were plastered all over it. Carlos couldn't see inside while in the moving car, but wasn't sure that he wanted to. Up ahead, he saw a squat, windowless building with "Big Rico's" plastered across the side in large, graffiti style lettering. Beyond that was a small, tin building, with a "For Rent" sign which had been tossed to the side. It seemed barely big enough for the six scientists to fit in together, let alone the mounds of equipment in the trunk. Carlos turned off the car, and it cut off the man, who was now talking about angels and porch lights. "Even if the rest of the town is normal, there's something about that guy on the radio which was really wacko. Maybe it's some sort of comedy show," commented Neal. Even so, looking around, they could all sense something was off. The color of the sky, the heat which seemed rich and strong instead of stifling, the smell of nearly-spoiled garlic drifting over from Big Rico's. "Well, start getting the stuff out of the back and getting what you can in that little hut," ordered Travis. "Hmph. I rented a full sized laboratory, not this-"

All of a sudden, tear gas exploded nearby and one of the black-clad people marched up. He looked normal, other than the fact his eyes (which were pretty much the only part of him they could see) were an unnaturally vivid green, almost glowing. "Interlopers." He nodded as a way of a greeting. "I have been told to inform you that your business as scientists will be discussed at the eleven o'clock counsel meeting and the presence of at least one of you, though not required, is mandatory."

Travis frowned. "But mandatory and required mean the same thing..."

The strange person nodded, and threw another can of tear gas on the ground. By the time the scientists were done coughing and wiping their eyes, he was gone.

Travis blinked several times, then shrugged. "Well, one of us can go up to the City Hall this afternoon. But for now." He didn't finish the sentence, but headed for the small shack, wrenching the unlocked door open and stepping in. The second his foot passed the threshold he gave a shout of surprise and disappeared. "There's a ladder, down to a- whoa." Carlos and the other scientists rushed down a rickety metal ladder where Travis was getting to his feet. Bethany felt around until her hand found a light switch. The lab was momentarily illuminated as the fluorescent light bulbs exploded. There was a long moment of silence. "Well, I guess a few of us have to go get new lights," said Carlos, feeling around for the ladder in the dark. "They might have some at the Ralph's," supplied Fredrick. "The rest of us can start setting up the outside equipment."

"Carlos and I," said Delaney. "We can try to find light bulbs." She nudged him, grinning. "You're the official driver now. Besides, I want to see more of the city."

After they had found light bulbs, which were for some reason in the dairy coolers, they headed back to the lab, passing the mysterious dog park. The man was back on the radio. "A new man came into town today." Carlos raised his eyebrows. "Think he means us?" Delaney shrugged.

"Who is he? What does he want from us? Why his perfect and beautiful haircut? Why his perfect and beautiful coat?"

Carlos nearly wrecked the car and Delaney burst out laughing. Carlos instinctively ran a hand through his messy, black hair. "It's a lab coat! Of course I'm wearing a lab coat, I'm a scientist!"

"He says he is a scientist. Well, we have all been scientists at one point or another in our lives. But why now? Why here? And what does he plan to do with all those breakers and humming electrical instruments in that lab he's renting? The one next to Big Rico's. No one does a slice like Big Rico's." The music stopped dramatically. "No one."

Carlos froze, glancing up at the needlepoint obelisk in the center of the town. Were there spies? Could the announcer really hear what he was saying? That was impossible...

When they got back to the lab, most of the instruments which they had taken out of the back of the station wagon were working, or at least upright. A small crowd had gathered a few yards away, watching the scientists work. One or two called out, "Interlopers!" but most stayed silent or whispered excitedly to each other. Carlos hadn't noticed anything unusual about them from the car, but up close, they seemed different in small ways. One had glowing pink eyes, one had three eyes, one had four purple tentacles growing out of his back which waved docilely. Carlos and Delaney slipped through them, still holding the packages of light bulbs. A tall creature appeared in the middle of the crowd, ten feet tall, with several pair of wings and row after row of cheekbones. The two scientists staggered back, and it took a step forward. When it spoke, a black light filled the open sidewalk and road, and it seemed to grow even bigger in height.

"Would you like me to change your lights, human?"

Carlos blinked in surprise. "Umm... okay?"

The creature scooped up the lights (Carlos noticed it had far too many fingers per hand) and descended into the lab, the bewildered scientists trailing behind. As it reached up and detached the old, cracked light, Carlos worked up the courage to ask, "Who are you? What... are you?"

I am an angel," it boomed, "I am called Erika by mortals like yourself, as are the rest of my brethren. I often do household chores." It paused, and glanced down at them. "Do you have any salt?"

Carlos shook his head, but Delaney pulled a little packet out of her hand bag. "Here." She tossed it up, and the angel caught it and disappeared. The lights flickered on, revealing a fairly nice lab. Long white tables already cluttered with equipment. Microscopes, test tubes, beakers, Bunsen burners, and popcorn machines. Nothing too nice; most had scorch marks, but it was usable. Besides, they had brought most of their equipment along. Carlos walked through, up righting several instruments and avoiding a mound of cracked slides on the floor. The whole place smelled like fire and cranberries. Neatly dodging a suspicious brownish stain on the tile, Carlos found the radio. It looked about fifty years old, but when he flipped it on, the Man on the Radio, (as Carlos now thought of him,) was still talking. This time, it was about scrublands and helicopters. Carlos paused and listened for a little while, his confusion and irritation building up. So, the sheriff had a Secret Police, who apparently were everywhere and flew helicopters and left carnations on sidewalks. Parents let their children run around in the scrubland, despite dehydration and possible wild animals. He knew of at least five poisonous snakes in the area, and who knew how many scorpions.

There was something very wrong with this place.


	3. Meetings

_There was something very wrong with this place._

After a few minutes, Travis called him from the doorway. "We're ready to bring in the equipment in." He was clearly annoyed that Carlos hadn't been doing anything. "But one of us has to go to the City Hall." He paused, and looked at Carlos expectantly. "I'll go," he said after a second. "What do you want me to tell them?"

"That we came to study their town, which is the most scientifically... interesting in the U.S."

Carlos nodded, and headed back towards the car. A grey-skinned young man with orange horns was leaning against it, but stepped back as the scientist walked out. He surveyed the man with wide yellow eyes. "Are you the man Cecil was talking about?"

Without waiting for an answer, hr dashed off. Carlos blinked, then got in the car. He guessed that "Cecil" was the Man on the Radio, but it could be a gossiper. The radio turned on automatically, and the Man on the Radio's voice filtered through the car. "A commercial airliner flying through local airspace disappeared today, only to reappear in the Night Vale Elementary gymnasium during basketball practice, disrupting practice quiet badly."

For the second time, Carlos swerved, nearly running over a tree which quickly leaped out of the way. He could handle strangely colored skies and three eyed citizens (the extra body parts were probably fake, right?) but jets that teleported for no reason into gyms was a bit much.

"The jet roared through the gym for only a fraction of a second, but before it could hit any players or structures, it vanished again. This time, apparently, for good."

Carlos was shocked at how calmly the man delivered the bizarre statement. He was either an excellent actor or wasn't concerned in the least, almost like he didn't care. Or even worse, like it was a normal occurrence. He went on, even accusing a rival team of doing it to stop practice. Carlos pulled up to where he assumed was the meeting would be, and went in, trying to look calm and friendly, meeting the stares with a smile.

These people obviously did not have very many guests.

He was greeted inside by a little old woman holding a plate of corn muffins. She looked like stereotypical grandmother, other than the fact her ears were pointy, like am elf's, and she wasn't much more than three feet tall. She smiled at him, which was a relief. Not everyone in the town didn't know how to act around strangers. "You must be the new scientist. Have a corn muffin, my name is Old Woman Josie."

Carlos smiled and took a muffin. "My name is Carlos. It's a pleasure to meet you." He took a bite of the muffin. "This is good." It really wasn't. It was dry and desperately needed salt.

"What kind of scientist are you?"

"I have multiple degrees. Anthropology, Botany, Chemistry, Physics, mainly."

"You must be a smart young man. Sorry if the muffin doesn't taste that good. The angels took my salt. Said they needed it for a godly mission."

She said it so casually he almost missed it. What was wrong with the people in this town? "I think I saw one of your... angels earlier. So it wasn't a hoax? They are real?"

She waved a bony hand. "Psht, the Erikas are real. They go on godly missions and do household chores. You're sure to see them around sometime. Come on now, come in. The City Counsel wants you to speak."

Josie led him into a circular room with about a dozen old men and women sitting around the edge. Carlos noticed that their eyes were all completely white, which was somehow a lot creepier than the other things he had seen. A four rows of plastic chairs had been set up in the middle, as well as a podium. A few people were milling around eating corn muffins. They all looked relatively normal, in suits and ties and holding little notepads or clipboards. One man in particular caught Carlos' attention, possibly because he was dressed differently. Black pants and a purple vest over a white short sleeved shirt. He had colorful tattoos on his pale arms, and held a wireless silver mike. Thick headphones were around his neck, but Carlos could tell he had been wearing them recently. He looked young, maybe a year or two younger than Carlos, though his puffy hair was white. He was not tall or short, and was not fat or thin. He turned towards the scientist and his face lit up in a grin. He waved, and Carlos saw that, though his eyes were blue, he had a large purple eye in the middle of his forehead. He rushed forward and shook Carlos' hand, a little too hard. "Hello, hello. Please, go up and say what you have to say. We're all interested in you and your team of scientists."

Carlos started. He had the voice of the Man on the Radio. Gently extracting his hand, he said, "You're Cecil?"

The man beamed. "Yes! I am! My name's Cecil Gershwin Palmer. It's great to meet you. You're welcome to come by the station for an interview any time." He giggled nervously, and Carlos flushed red at the memory of the previous announcement. Trying to get it off his mind, he stepped up to the podium and the rest of the people gathered around. Leaning in, he smiled. It wasn't his forte, but he was pretty decent at public speaking. "Hi. My name is Carlos. I'm a scientist, and am here with a team of five other scientists from the University of What It Is. We have come to study your town because it is, by far, the most scientifically interesting town in the U.S. We want to see just what is going on in this place." A few of the reporters puffed up with pride, and he could tell that they were going to accept them. Relieved, he grinned.

Cecil grinned back, as if Carlos was his first grade son making a presentation to the school.

After a few minutes, he finished and stepped down. The reporters applauded, but the City Counsel hadn't moved. Cecil grabbed his microphone, but Carlos moved over to talk to Old Woman Josie to avoid an interview. "The new scientist, who we now know is named Carlos, called a town meeting." Carlos whirled around, and saw Cecil lying on a couch with his legs crossed, talking into his microphone. A speaker was on the wall, projecting his voice. "He has a square jaw, and teeth like a military cemetery. His hair is perfect. And we all hate, and despair, and love that perfect hair in equal measure."

Carlos felt his face burn with embarrassment. "Does he always talk like that?" he whispered to Old Woman Josie.

She chuckled. "That's Cecil for you. He has no filter. He can't, of course. He's the Voice of Night Vale." She chuckled, and patted him on the shoulder. "If I can give you any advice, stay on his good side. If you get on his bad side, you're out of luck. Also stay on the good side of the Sheriff's secret police and the agents from the Vague Yet Menacing Government Agency." She motioned around the room. "The ones in full black are Secret police, and the chairs leaning against the back wall are Agents from the Vague Yet Menacing Government Agency."

Carlos frowned. He felt like he had to just sit in a white room and process all the information he had received in the last several hours for a week or more. He could take in and accept facts more quickly than any of the others in his team, but this was all a bit much. "They're... chairs. Are they bugged?"

"No, no. They're just excellent at disguising themselves. The only way I know is that one creaked by itself earlier. Furniture doesn't just creak by itself."

Carlos thought that was strange, but didn't say anything. "-he grinned, and everything about him was perfect. And I fell in love _instantly_."

Carlos' jaw dropped, and he would have marched over and told Cecil what he thought of him if it weren't for Old Woman Josie's gentle hand on his arm. He turned to protest to her, that Cecil was making fun of him, but a being appeared behind her, ten feet tall and ivory white.

Another angel.

It took her hand and she said, "Ready to go, Erika? Is Castle on?"

Erika nodded, and Josie turned to Carlos. "Come over any time. I'm out by the car lot." Erika nodded once more and disappeared, taking the old woman with him. Carlos stared at the spot for a moment, then turned and walked put the door, glancing back at Cecil one last time. If he teased every newcomer, it wasn't surprising that that people didn't know how to act. No one ever stayed.

 **A/N- Hiya, me again. Sorry about the wait, the updates will probably be more regular I'm in the future. Who knows. Not me. Anyway, I went with a pretty common description of Cecil. What do you think? Any tips or suggestions? All feedback is greatly appreciated. This may or may mot have been Joseph Fink. And hey, thanks.**


	4. Problems

**A/N- Hi, me again. The chapter's a little shorter today, but I've already written put the next one, which should be up soon. Still not Joseph Fink or Jeffrey Cranor. Probably.**

When he got back to the lab, he was quickly ushered in by a pale faced Travis, who shut the door quickly behind them. "We need to get out of here. Now. And we need to evacuate the citizens as soon as possible. Everyone needs to leave."

Carlos followed his leader to a table in the middle the lab. The others were huddled around it, faces white and frightened. "What is it?"

"We set out some of our instruments while you were gone, and this is the first one we checked. Radiation levels are astronomical."

Carlos leaned forward, then reeled back when he saw the reading. Life shouldn't be possible. Their skin should be melting off their faces and their insides disintegrating and the buildings reduced to charred piles of black ash. "How- What-"

"That's not the only thing." He motioned to the next monitor. "We're receiving notices of a projection, possibly antimatter, like something is supposed to be there but isn't. It's nearby, in once of the neighborhoods. We need to find out what it is."

"We should split up," offered Bethany, "each take a different area and alert the others when we find it. I can go with Carlos, you can go with Delaney, and Fredrick and Neal can go together. That's the most groups we can make from our equipment."

The others agreed, and split off in different directions, still taking concerned glances the radiation levels. Carlos strolled with the small, buzzing machine in his hand, looking at the scenery more than anything. Cracked sidewalks with occasional splotchy stains, purple buildings radiating the powerful heat, and posters plastered on the sides of buildings with various slogans.

"No one does a slice like Big Rico's. No one."

"Guns don't kill people, it's impossible to be killed by a gun. We're all invincible to bullets and it's a miracle."

"I'm concerned about the blueberries."

and

"The Secret Police monitor all conversations, so remember to speak loudly and clearly."

"Cheery place," muttered Bethany, but was cut off by a crackle from her transmitter. "Found it," said Neal, "It's a house in the Desert Creek neighborhood."

"An entire house?" he asked as they sprinted in the direction the housing development was in, according to their map.

"Yep. It's in between two houses that look exactly like it, so it would make more sense if it did exist, but it doesn't. We're going to do a few experiments to test for antimatter. If it is, in fact, antimatter, than we need to get the hell out of this place."

Carlos skidded around the curve and saw the other four standing on the sidewalk, pointing various devices at a random house and writing things down. Travis stood nearby, deep in thought. "Someone needs to tell the masses. The best way would be through radio. We need to go tell that guy on the radio."

"Cecil," said Carlos. "I met him earlier."

"You should go," said Delaney, nudging him with her elbow and smirking. "He fancies you."

Carlos blushed, embarrassed, but nodded. Travis tossed him a radiation detector. "If possible, when you go into town, see where that's coming from. It can't be too dangerous, or we'd all be lying dead on the pavement. Just look around." Carlos nodded again, turning it on so it could sense the amount of radiation in the air. It started beeping like mad, much louder and faster than Carlos had ever heard it before. Neal grinned, and nudged Delaney's shoulder as he looked up at the house. "Hey, I bet there's loads of information inside. I dare you to go knock on the door."

"No way." She folded her arms.

Neal didn't stop. "What about you, Freddie? Five bucks to knock on the door."

Fredrick snorted, and Neal raised his eyebrows at the others. "Five bucks to knock on the door? Ten?"

Carlos just shook his head and started walking towards the middle of the town, to the needlepoint obelisk that towered over everything. He saw more people as he got further in. One man with a huge, cartoonish Indian headdress stood on a bridge with a fishing pole dangling over a stony pit, and what could only be described as a hooded figure hovered about a foot in the air, radiating static noises. Most people looked pretty normal, just a little off, like the civilians he had seen earlier. Horns, extra eyes, and feet that stuck in the exact opposite direction were normal. Clothing varied too, t-shirts or dress clothes or heavy coats with scarves or tinfoil hats. It was almost like he had left the early twenty first century and had entered an sci-fi movie. The obelisk had a pair of double doors, with a needle pointing out where a doorbell should be. Above the door it read, "Night Vale Community Radio." Carlos stared at the needle for several seconds, unsure of his next move. The beeping from the detector was a lot louder, more insistent, like the source was inside the building.

"You gotta prick your finger, mister," said a small voice. Carlos looked down to see a young boy with blue tinted skin looking up at him. "If ya want to get in the station, I mean. A really good bloodstone might work too."

"I'm sorry, a bloodstone?"

The boy nodded, but before he spoke again, a woman with blue skin took his hand and led him away, which led him to believe that the unusual physical characteristics were genetic, not radiation consequences. Taking a deep breath, imagining all the germs on the needle and wondering how it could possibly work, Carlos pricked his finger. It didn't hurt much; he had been pricked plenty of times in his lab, but he pulled out an antibacterial wipe and scrubbed his finger as the needle slipped back into the wall. With a sudden shriek that sounded like someone being stabbed, the door slid open. Carlos looked back. None of the civilians had even glanced in his direction. Carlos turned back to the open door and walked in. One beige hall, which seemed much longer than outside, with no reception desk. Doors lined either way, and, creepily enough, a small tank of blood was fastened to the wall below the needle. It was only about half full, but there was a covered drain at the bottom (as far as he could tell) like it could be emptied. Taking a deep breath, he started walking down the hall. Other than the beeping of his radiation detector, (which was getting louder with every step he took) the hall was silent. There were several empty recording booths; on one of them, the red "On Air" sign was lit up and the microphone was on, even though no one was in there. He stopped and looked at it for a second. The sign above the door said, "Channel 380000.34"

Carlos turned at the sound of footsteps and saw a young man coming down the hall. He wore a purple suit and pentagram glasses, with a "Hi, I'm intern-" name tag that had been scratched out and rewritten so many times that he couldn't tell if the boy's name was Liam or Chad or something different entirely. Nervously smiling, he stuck out his hand. "Hi, I'm Carlos. I'm a scientist, and I need to talk to Cecil."

 **A/N- To any physic geeks out there I insulted with my lack of knowledge about radiation and that sort of thing, I sincerely apologize. As always, reviews and constructive criticism are deeply appreciated.**


	5. (More) Meetings

The intern grinned, and his eyes flashed purple. " _The_ Carlos the scientist?"

He nodded. "Yeah, I guess."

"Follow me." the intern started walking down the hall. Carlos came up behind him, following the boy up several staircases, then to another hall. After a few minutes, Carlos was jerked out of his thoughts by a high, shrill shriek. It was followed by several angry roars and the sound of furniture breaking. The boy didn't slow. Carlos spun around, trying to find the source of the noise. Another shorter hallway branched off, with a single stone doorway on one side. Shadows were thrashing around underneath, with occasional flashes of light. Blood oozed beneath the door. Carlos ran forward, planning on jerking the door open and rushing in, but the boy tackled him just as his fingers brushed the knob.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" he yelled, "DON'T LET STATION MANAGEMENT OUT! ARE YOU CRAZY?"

Carlos sat up as he got off of him, staring with wide eyes. "What is that? What-"

"Station Management. Cecil said that they have never been let out, even though they've been there as long as anyone can remember. No one knows what they are. You're not even really supposed to acknowledge their presence." The door rattled and Station Management howled a wailing and furious sob. Blood gushed from under the door, and Carlos skidded back and stood up, grabbing the detector, which had faded in volume somewhat. The fact that a non-human entity was inside a building, howling and spitting blood, (was _Station Management_!) dazed him, but not as much as that, like with the other things, no one seemed to mind. What was up with this place?

"Um... Mr. Carlos? You wanted to see Cecil?"

That brought Carlos back to reality, or at least, this twisted version of reality he was stuck in for the next three months. It seemed hard to believe that he had come in just that morning.

The hall ended in another recording booth, this one with lights on and Cecil himself inside. He was leaning back in a desk chair, his headphones on, talking into his wireless mike in front of a sound board while his tattoos shimmered and glowed. The wall was made of soundproof glass, like the others, so they couldn't hear him, but could see him. He closed his eyes for a moment, relaxing, then opened them and saw Carlos standing with the intern, watching. He grinned and waved furiously, quickly finishing his broadcast and flipping the button off. The door flew open, and Cecil beckoned him in, handing the intern a note. "Carlos! Hi Carlos, it's great to have you here!" He giggled nervously, and Carlos noticed with a start that the man's long, tentacle-like tattoos really did move, swirling up and down his arms, and lacing between his fingers and occasionally peeping above the collar of his shirt. The only things that didn't move were large purple eyes, like the one on his forehead. Four were visible on his arms, randomly placed, blinking and looking around like normal eyes. Carlos momentarily forgot what he came for as he stared at them, fascinated. "Where'd you get them done?" he asked.

"What?" replied Cecil, frowning.

"The tattoos. Glow in the dark ink, probably, which is expensive but possible, but how do you get them to move?"

"Oh, those? I didn't get them done, they've always been there. Born with them, I guess." He watched a thin tendril wind its way around his index finger, then dropped his hands. Scooting his chair forward, he put his elbows on the sound board and his chin in his hands, staring up at Carlos. "Is there any particular reason you came?"

Carlos remembered. "Yes. A very important reason, actually."

"Pull up a chair, sit down." Cecil waved his hand around the room,which was empty other than his chair and sound board. Carlos noticed one of the walls looking over the city was glass. They were a lot higher over the city than he thought they were. Turning in a slow circle, he shook his head. "There aren't any chairs." The beeping was louder and much quicker inside the room, like that was its source.

Cecil stared at him peculiarly. "Well, this isn't a luxury hotel room."

Carlos thought that odd, but remained standing and cleared his throat. "The team of scientists I am part of have been running some tests, and..." Looking at Cecil, he got distracted, remembering what he had said. "-Look, why did you say what you did about me earlier? How I had "perfect hair" and all that?"

Cecil raised his eyebrows. "You heard that?"

"It's not like your voice isn't being blasted around this whole illogical loophole of a city."

Cecil shrugged. "True. Well, as long is it does not go against any of the speech retraining laws or orders set down by the Sheriff's Secret Police, I'm supposed to say whatever comes into my head. It's in my job description. This is America, after all. And well, um..." He looked away, his eyes glancing at Carlos and his tattoos swirling over his ears onto his cheeks to try and hide the blush which covered his face. "...you do have nice hair. It's neat."

Carlos ran a hand through his puffy hair, trying to focus. "Well, anyway, we need to evacuate the town. We need to send a warning over your radio and tell all the people to get out." He looked down at his detector and held it a little closer to the microphone. It went nuts. It was as if the microphone was an atomic bomb that had just gone off. "In fact, we need to evacuate this building as soon as possible." The detector was getting on his nerves and starting to freak him out, so he flipped it off and stuck it in his lab coat pocket. He would have been completely panicking, but it made absolutely no sense. They should be dead. Or very nearly dead, at least. And they weren't, so it was okay.

At least for now.

Cecil didn't look very concerned, but continued to look up at the scientist. "Why?"

"Well, the radiation levels are through the roof, literally impossible. We should all be disintegrated into radioactive dust, but for some reason we're still alive. Secondly, there's a house in one of the neighborhoods that didn't really exist. I mean, it looks like it's there, and it's between two identical houses so it would make more sense if it were there, but it's really not. They were still running experiments when I left, but if it's antimatter... if it's antimatter something really bad might potentially happen and we need to get out of here now and get everyone out of the fifty miles radius."

Cecil nodded and stood up, walking over to the window. "Your team of scientists don't seem to be doing any tests. I'm no scientist myself, but they seem to be daring each other to go knock on the door."

Carlos walked over and gasped. He could see every detail of the city perfectly. When he focused on a spot, it zoomed in closer, the footage neither shaky nor grainy. His mind spun, trying to figure out how it was possible. High quality security cameras covering every inch of the city and pieced together was the only thing he could come up with. It was about two according to Carlos' watch, and many people seemed to be eating a late lunch at Big Rico's. The scientists were still huddled on the sidewalk in front of the nonexistent house. Fredrick nudged Delaney toward the door, and she promptly turned and shoved him. Carlos watched them for a few seconds, then turned back to Cecil. The radio host had been staring at him, but quickly dropped his gaze. Shuffling his feet, he looked down, but looked back up as his eyes (all of them) lit up. "Do you want to do an interview? I have another mike in here somewhere, you could tell them about the house or the radiation."

Carlos shook his head. "No thanks. I should probably get going, and you probably need to get back on air. I-" he hesitated. Cecil was pretty creepy, but Carlos would survive talking with him one more time. "I can tell you what happens with the experiments."

Cecil grinned and scribbled his number on a scrap of paper. "Here, you can call or text me whenever." Carlos nodded. That smile, a bit too wide, a bit too eager, made him uncomfortable.


	6. Angels

He flipped on the radio, listening as Cecil recounted Carlos' words about the house that wasn't really there, not even mentioning the radiation or the potential antimatter. Carlos groaned. For a radio host, Cecil wasn't very good at relaying dangerous facts. Which scared him, as he thought about the other reports he had heard that day, with the disappearing planes and forbidden dog parks. Frustrated, he flipped the radio to channel 380000.34. A low, raspy female voice spoke. "A dull window, streaked with years of dust and grime, uncared for, looking into a bedroom. In the darkness, only one shaft of moonlight wafts down from the cloudy heavens. The hinges creak from years of no use, but someone lives behind it still. The window opens, forced from the outside, and from the darkness, there reaches A Hand. Cold, as if no life throbs underneath the filthy, shredded skin. The hand opens the window further, and slides into the gap, reaching in. A window opening, a hand reaching in. **A window opening, a hand reaching in. A WINDOW OPENING, A HAND REACHING IN, A WIN-"**

Carlos listened, mesmerized in a creeped-out way. The voice cut off with a barely human shriek and a thud, followed by the raspy sounds of a person being strangled. Shuddering, he flipped it again, this time landing on a station called "WZZZ."

A monotone female voice was speaking, with occasional chimes playing at random. "Forty two. _Ding!_ Sixty nine. Seven. Twenty One. Ninety Eight. _Ding!_ Thirty-"

Carlos pulled up to the lab and got out the car, cutting off the voice. The town needed loads of investigating, but he was starting to feel like a lot of the things were supposed to be left alone. Almost like he wasn't supposed to look into hooded figures or "birthmark" tattoos or screaming Station Management the spit blood everywhere. He started down the sidewalk. A headache was building behind his eyes, and he wanted some time alone, but he knew he wouldn't get that with the scientists or at Big Rico's. He needed a break. He saw another one of the angels strolling down the opposite sidewalk, taking six or seven-foot steps at the time, its thousands of glowing eyes scanning the streets like flashlights. "Um, Erika?" asked Carlos. The angel turned its eyes on him, and he felt very small. "Um, you know Old Woman Josie, right?"

The angel nodded. It had no mouth.

"Well, could you ask her if Carlos could come over for lunch or tea?"

The angel nodded once and disappeared. A few seconds later, it appeared standing right in front of Carlos and nodded. "She says you may come," said a booming voice inside his head, "That she was going to ask you anyway. I can take you to her now. She's out by the car lot."

Carlos nodded, and the angel put a many-fingered hand on each of the scientist's shoulders. A powerful, cold breeze ripped through Carlos' gut, and he coughed. The sensation was only for a second, then the angel took his hand off of his shoulders and vanished again. Carlos stood in a small, green living room, with Josie sitting in a chair across from him, knitting a sweater that was too big for a regular person, much less her. Probably for one of the angels. She set it down and gave him a wrinkled smile. Somehow, that one move relaxed Carlos, and he sat down across from her, rubbing his left temple. "Hello, Josie. Sorry to bother you, I just... needed to get away from the others for a while."

She nodded sympathetically. "You're welcome any time. Would you like some tea?"

"Yes please." he put his head in his hands as she puttered off. He didn't understand anything and it was giving him a headache. He had expected something small, like different air pressure or an unusual generic mutation, but instead he got angels and impossible radiation levels and houses that weren't really there and-

He fell off the chair with a yelp when the reality of his current situation hit him. He had been so tired he hadn't even realized that he had teleported with the angel to Josie's house. Teleportation, at least the teleportation of a human, was strictly impossible so far. There had been no advancements in mechanics other than a few protons a foot or two, once. He felt like sobbing in frustration, but pulled himself back together and sat back down. Josie walked back in and handed him the tea, which was a suspicious green color and smelled like nutmeg. Surprisingly, it was pretty good. She pulled a chair up across from him and sat down across from him and studied his face. "What's wrong?"

He sighed. "Nothing in this town makes sense. It's just... uuuugggh."

She nodded and stirred her tea. "I've never left Night Vale. Almost no one has, except visitors, and we don't get many of those. How long are you staying?"

"Supposedly for three months. That's what Travis, my team leader, said. But there's so much stuff here that I don't think we can get what we want done in that amount of time." He laughed. "and it's only the first day."

"Well, it is only your first day. Things might seen confusing, but they will get better."

Her words comforted him, and he took another sip of his tea when his phone rang. Travis.

"Where are you? You need to come back right now."

Carlos repressed a sigh. "What is it now?"

"Just come back, you're wasting time by asking questions."

"Yes sir."

Carlos hung up and stood, shrugging apologetically at Old Woman Josie. "My team leader wants me back. Thanks for everything."

She took his cup. "No problem. Come by again soon. Erika!"

Several angels came out of an adjoining room. One of them was black. "Carlos needs to go back to his lab now."

The black angel stepped towards him, but he stepped back. "No, no, its fine. I can walk."

The wind rolled through him and he was standing on the pavement outside of the lab. He threw his hands in the air. "Really? Are you actually kidding me?"

 **A/N- I know I usually stick to solid canon plot, but I always imagined that Carlos would go over to Old Woman Josie's when he was stressed and tell her about his problems. Anyway, still not Joseph Fink, as far as I'm aware. As always, follows/ favorites/ reviews make my day, so if you enjoy this fanfic consider clicking the button down at the bottom. And hey, thanks.**


	7. Earthquakes (?)

"What the hell?" said a voice behind him, and Carlos turned around to see Travis, who looked completely done with everything. "Where- What-"

"I'll try to explain later. What did you want to see me about?"

"Well, you went to see that newscaster, and then you didn't come back. We heard the report. Either you didn't relay the facts very well or he didn't."

"It was him."

"Well, now there's this thing."  
He strolled deeper into the lab, flipping the "Off" button on the radio as he passed it. Instead of complying, the radio shot electric sparks at him and increased the volume by several notches. "Lights seen in the sky above the Arby's," came Cecil's voice through the speaker. "Not the glowing sign of Arby's. Something higher, and beyond that. We know the difference. We've caught onto their game. We've caught onto the glowing lights above Arby's game."

Travis kicked the radio lightly in irritation. "It's not even plugged in. How is it transmitting signals? But that's not important. At least, not at the moment." He glared at the radio for a few seconds, then continued to where the other scientists were standing around, writing notes.

"Did you feel anything today? In the ground?"

Carlos raised his eyebrows. "You mean like an earthquake? No, not even a tremble."

Travis pushed the seismic indicator towards him with a sense of finality before collapsing into a chair. "We checked this at the monitoring station about ten minutes ago. I'm done."

Carlos frowned. "But... An eight point nine size earthquake? Going on right now? But- well, maybe the equipment malfunctioned in the way here. Maybe we passed through some magnetic disturbance which threw the instruments off balance."

Even as he said it, Carlos knew it wasn't true. "You should probably tell your new friend about it," suggested Delaney. "See if anyone knows anything about earthquakes around here."

"He's not exactly my friend."

Delaney shrugged, leaning against the table. "Mmm. He seems to be quite smitten by you. Even still, if every radio is like this piece-of-crap one in here, than almost everyone must be listening and someone might know something. I mean, the town should be falling to pieces. But somehow, it is not."

Carlos sighed and stepped out to call Cecil. After all, the radio host had said to call any time, and seemed flexible enough to stop his show for short conversations.

"Hello, this is Cecil Palmer."

"Hi Cecil, this is Carlos."

Carlos cringed as Delaney strolled out and smirked as Cecil said, "Ooh, Carlos! Great to hear from you again, so soon!"

"Yeah. Um, I wanted to tell you that our seismic indicators have been going crazy, as if there is a huge earthquake going on right now that no one can feel. Do you think you could broadcast that? We don't want people to panic, but sometime might know something about it."

"Giant earthquakes that no one can feel?" asked Cecil in a skeptical tone.

"Yeah, I know it sounds weird, but there doesn't appear to be anything wrong with our sensors, and-"

"I thought that the next government issued one wasn't until next week. Hmm. But that's neat!"

Carlos huffed in frustration, ignoring the part about "government issued one" for the moment. "No, its not. I don't know what's going on with this place, but we will find out."

"Looking forward to it!" he said, and Carlos rolled his eyes. "So..." continued the broadcaster, "It'd be great to know you better. Do you have any plans the next week?"

"Um, I have to go. Bye." Carlos hung up and stick his phone in his pocket, his cheeks burning even though no one else heard. He didn't want to be rude, but still. He had only known him for one day. Delaney was hauling several boxes of unbroken supplies into the lab. "Tomorrow starts cleanup. It's a disaster in there. Right now we're just going to set up the rest of the equipment and hope that nothing weird and impossible happens to send us to an alternate dimension."

Carlos snorted. "From what we've seen today, I wouldn't be surprised."

"Neither would I. Grab the Petri dishes, they're about to fall. Thanks."

They continued down into the underground lab. Travis had turned the seismic indicator over to examine the parts and see if he could find anything wrong with the inside, but shook his head. "Perfect condition. It was brand new and had been tested to check if it was working once before we came. Nothing wrong with it," he moaned. Fredrick was curled up on the floor like he often did when something made absolutely no sense and there was no solution. Neal and Bethany were picking up the mound of broken slides from by the entrance and didn't say anything.

"Carlos and his scientists at the monitoring station near Route 800 say that their seismic monitors have been indicating wild seismic shifts, meaning to say that the ground should be going up and down all over the place." Everyone looked up at the radio. "I don't know about you folks, but the ground has been as still as a tiny globe rocketing around an endless Void could be. Carlos says they've double checked the monitors and they are in perfect working order. To put it plainly, there appears to be catastrophic earthquakes right here in Night Vale that absolutely no one can feel. Well, submit an insurance claim anyway. See what you can get, right?" There was a slight smirk in the man's voice as he said it. "Traffic time, listeners. Now, police are issuing warnings about ghost cars out on the highway-" The man continued with his report as Travis stared at the radio, mouth agape. "This is ludicrous."

Carlos sighed. "I think that's just the way it is. I want to hear what he's saying about the cars."

He set his box down and walked over to the radio, leaning against it. After a few minutes, Travis cleared his throat. "You can't just listen to the radio all day, anthropologist. You have to go out and do as well. We're a team, and we have to work together. Right now, you and Delaney finish unloading the car, and then you can go on studying them."

Carlos rolled his eyes in annoyance, climbing the ladder outside to get the last couple boxes. As Delaney started loading the boxes into his arms, he jerked to look where a screech sounded nearby. A black sedan came flying around the curb, shooting past them at an alarming speed. The windows were tinted so they couldn't see inside, but it swerved to the other side of the road, taking the paint off the side and ripping off the rearview mirror of a car parked across from Big Rico's. It continued, not slowing or stopping, for several meters before disappearing. There wasn't a flash or a bang or anything, it just simply disappeared.

Delaney dropped her boxes and rushed forward to the car, followed by Carlos. She ran her hand over where the mirror had been, quickly pulling back and rubbing her palm on her pants.

"It's hot from friction, as if something had rubbed against it very, very quickly. At least one hundred miles an hour, probably more. If that car was a projection or a hologram or even... a ghost, like that newscaster said, I don't think that would happen."

Just then, a door appeared on the side of Big Rico's and a man walked out, a black tufted tail curling from behind his back. He started walking across the road, but stopped when he saw the scientists standing next to the mutilated car. Delaney held up her hands. "We didn't do anything, this car came flying around the bend and-"

The man's cat ears drooped and he cast his orange eyes downward. "Again? I just fixed it from the incident last week! Oh well."

Slipping between them, he picked up the chunk that had broken off, got in the car, and drove away. The scientists stared after him for a moment, then turned and went back towards the lab.

"He didn't even question it," muttered Delaney.

"Think we should tell Travis?" asked Carlos after a pause.

"He's frustrated enough already. I wouldn't bother him." The tone of her voice warned Carlos that she was frustrated too, so he dropped the subject.

 **A/N- Bit awkward place to leave off, yes, but it's the best I could do for now. Next is the last section of Pilot and after that comes Glow Cloud (ALL HAIL THE GLOW CLOUD). I may or may not be Joseph Fink, there's about a one in seven billion chance. And hey, thanks.**


	8. First Days

"Well, c'mon then, lets load up the rest of the boxes and take them inside. There's bound to be a weather report pretty soon and I would like to here that." He ran his hand through his thick, bushy hair. "It's hot out here."

"It's a desert, what did you expect?" She shrugged her shoulders, picking up the boxes again. "Neal said that he is going to attempt to set up some kind of air conditioning system, since apparently there's none in the building." Carlos nodded.

"I've gone to several other buildings, I don't think any of them had air conditioning. It was the same temperature inside as outside."

Delaney pulled a face. "That's uncomfortable. I wonder why."

"I wonder why a lot of things," sighed Carlos as they put the boxes on a white folding table and joined Neal and Bethany in picking up. Fredrick hadn't moved, (other than maybe curl up in a tighter ball) and Travis was examining all their instruments one by one to see if anything had gone wrong over the trip to the desert city.

There didn't seem to be anything messed up with them, and he tossed his gloves down.

"And now, the weather," said Cecil. Carlos glanced at the radio, waiting. Guitar music floated through the laboratory.

"The old church down the street, concrete beneath my feet," sang a different voice. Carlos couldn't help but smile incredulously. Fredrick uncurled and sat up, tilting his head to frown at the radio.

Bethany shrugged. "Maybe there was a mistake in the broadcast. Played the wrong recording."

"You have to wonder, though," remarked Neal, "That one show has been broadcasting nearly nonstop since we got here, over ten hours ago. Aren't there any others, any other stations, even?"

"There were a few others, in the broadcasting station. Weird, though. I think that they were just recordings, played over and over again," remarked Carlos.

Fredrick removed his glasses and wiped his eyes, all of his earlier cheerfulness gone. "That's nice. Maybe the _actual_ weather will come on later."

They waited for quite a while, but the song continued. Delaney glanced at her watch several times, frowning.

"Umm, you know some meteorology, right Freddie?"

He shot her an annoyed glance. "Yeah. But my name's not Freddie."

"Anyway, about what time should the sun set?"

He thought for a moment, pushing his glasses back on the bridge of his nose and looking at his own watch. "Wait." He stood up and walked over to the ladder, climbing up several rungs and opening the trapdoor down. The sun was still shining brightly.

He tapped his watch, then looked at his phone. "If my timepieces are correct, the sun shoulda set five minutes ago."

He went around the room, checking everybody's watches and phones, then the desk clock with a cracked front which had come in the lab. He shook his head, obviously frustrated, then went back outside. Carlos joined him standing by the road. The sun cast a red glow on them, and Carlos glanced at his watch. If Fredrick was right, the sun was setting about ten minutes after when it was supposed to set.

"Honestly, it's entirely impossible," muttered Fredrick. "Unless- nope. Nope, nope, nope, and nope. Unless we were transported to a different dimension or something else impossible."

"Everything is possible, not everything is probable," reminded Carlos. "Try checking clocks around here, there might be some kind of time zone-lapse-thing that affected it."

Fredrick nodded and went back down into the lab, and Carlos pulled out his phone and called Cecil again. He wasn't sure why, but he felt like he needed to tell someone, even if that someone didn't accurately relay the facts and teased him about his hair on the _public radio_.

"Hi Cecil, it's Carlos," he began nervously, remembering how he had hung up on him earlier.

"Hi Carlos! What's up?"

Carlos could hear the "weather" playing in the background and Cecil rustling papers. "Sorry to bother you again, but I just wanted to let you know that the sun set ten minutes too late tonight. One of our team of scientists has a minor in meteorology, so he knows what time it should set. It was at least ten minutes, maybe more."

"That's strange. At least it did set at all today. It's always irritating when it doesn't. Did you look at several clocks?"

"Yes, eleven in fact. Our watches, our phones, and the clock on the lab. The sun set too late."

"Do you have any explanation?"

"No, not yet. Nothing concrete. I just wanted you to know; you should probably get back to your show now. Thanks."

Carlos hung up, wincing inwardly at the abrupt way he ended the call. Trotting back into the lab, he saw that the rest of the scientists had gathered around the table with the lab's clock on it, staring at it while Fredrick wrote equations on a blackboard and erased them, over and over again.

Carlos joined them, frustrated that they couldn't really do anything about it. The weather ended, Cecil talked for a short while about the sun and went off on a tangent about angels. Delaney stood up, and walked over to radio, tapping it. "Well, is this guy going to just go on all night?"

"Well, we've turned the volume off and unplugged it completely," remarked Neal, "Would you like me to smash it with a hammer and burn the remains?"

Delaney rolled her eyes. "Calm down, Thor. I'm just saying, I looked around and the dorms are right over there. Will the radio run all night?"

As if to answer her, the radio hummed a little louder. "And now for a brief public service announcement. Alligators- can they kill your children? Yes."

Delaney rolled her eyes again. "This town is as stoned as heck."

Carlos ran his hand through his hair. It was tangled and dirty from the sand blowing through the town from the desert. "Whatever. You know what, it's our first day here, so it should get better from here. You know?"

Travis shook his head. "Thanks for the pep talk, but it'll probably only get worse."

Carlos sighed. "You know what? Never mind."

 **A/N- And thus ends the first episode. (Sorry about the awkward ending of the last chapter, there really wasn't a good place to end it.) A few quick announcements, first off, I'm going to try to update at least once a week from now on, probably on Saturdays. No promises. Secondly, I'm starting a new series of Night Vale universe one shots soon, probably tomorrow, so if you're interested check that out. Thirdly, thank you to the people who have followed/ favorited already. And I'm still not Joseph Fink. As far as you know. So, dear readers, thanks.**


	9. Imaginary Corn

**A/N- The chapter's a bit longer this time. Sorry, the chapter lengths are probably going to vary a** ** _lot_** **, just so you know. I'm not Joseph Fink, most likely.**

In a way it did get easier, in a way it didn't. The next day wasn't much better, neither was the next. However, they did fall into a schedule and figure out how to maneuver over the next couple weeks. They started accepting that the sun set at different times every day and sometimes made banging, crashing noises when it did so. They accepted that the sky was a different color almost every day, even though Fredrick never really found anything different in the air quality. Those were problems that could be delt with later. Though confused, they were all pretty flexible.

Not long afterwards, Carlos was studying the dust off the porch light that had been touched by one of Josie's angel friends. There had been a small amount of DNA left on the base where the angel's fingers had actually touched it, and he wanted to examine it as closely as possible. The others were out, most probably still at the House That Doesn't Really Exist. He had managed to isolate a good deal of what looked like black powder from the dust under the microscope, when a shriek ripped through the air. It sounded like a young girl, about five or six. Tripping over a cord, Carlos stumbled outside. No one was out, other than a hooded figure just visible around the corner and the white guy who had introduced himself as the "Apache Tracker" crawling down the sidewalk several blocks away. Big Rico's stood a few yards away, and Carlos noticed that the red graffiti was thicker than usual. "WHO IS THE REAL JOSEPH FINK?" stood out for a moment, before fading into the brickwork. Slightly frazzled, Carlos stuck his hands in his lab coat and started walking down the pavement. He told himself that a walk would calm him down, and besides, it would be good break from bending over a microscope all day, but he knew it really wouldn't. He went left, heading towards a ramshackle fruit stand that he had driven past once. There had been a older man inside of it, but there was no produce to be seen at all. The man waved, and Carlos stepped up. "I'm John Peters, you know, the farmer. The imaginary corn is coming in very early this year, and I already have a good crop. Care to try it?"

Thinking for a moment the man was joking, Carlos smiled and shook his head. He noticed that the man had four appendages which looked a lot like cat tails coming out of his back, stretching to all different lengths and doing things around the stand. Righting overturned crates, dusting the corners of the room, and washing a stack of plastic plates, all while the man stood in front of the counter. Carlos felt a strange temptation to touch them, see if they had any bones or joints inside. "So, you sell... imaginary corn?" he asked, and John Peters, you know, the farmer, nodded. "Yeah. The best in town. Of course, it isn't really real since we live in a desert, but it is still a popular side dish. One dollar an ear."

Figuring that the man was taking advantage of him since he was new, Carlos was about to brush him off as a beggar, when a young man strolled up to the fruit stand and tossed a dollar in change on the counter and picked up one of the empty plates off the counter. John Peters nodded at him. "Hello, Larry. You're early today."

Larry ran a taloned hand through his green hair. "There's a PTA meeting tomorrow, and I need to make something to bring this afternoon." He glanced in Carlos' direction. "Hiya, interloper. You're the scientist, aren't you?"  
Carlos nodded, not sure what to say. Taking his plate, he sat at one of the tables by the stand and looked Carlos up and down. "Are you going to try the corn?"

Without thinking about it, he blurted, "Um, sure," and handed the farmer the money. John took it and one of his tentacles handed Carlos a plate. The farmer watched him, interested, as he took the plate and stared at it.

"Try it," he said encouragingly.

"Umm... There's nothing there."

"Yes there is. Take a bite."

Glancing at Larry Leroy, Carlos copied his hand motions. He was a scientist, after all. It was his job to observe locals and their customs. He was expecting nothing to happen, but his mouth was suddenly filled with the sweet taste and texture of hot, buttery corn on the cob. Nearly spitting it put, he swallowed and picked up the plate and examined it. There was nothing on it. Even so, as he turned it over, he could still just barely smell the steam rising from the... imaginary corn? He handed the plate with a nod back to John Peters, and continued walking down the road until he was out of sight of the fruit stand and called his team leader.

"Umm, Travis?"

"What, Carlos?"

"You know some psychology, right?"

"Yes. Hurry up, I'm busy." Carlos heard giggling in the background, then a thud and an "ow".

"Stop acting like children!" Travis called behind the phone, then turned back. "What did you want?"

"I just wanted to know, are... gustatory hallucinations possible?"

"Gustatory? As in taste? In theory, they are. Why?"

"Um, long story. Also, I'm going to the Ralph's to get more light bulbs, do we need anything else?"

"I don't think so. Just don't get yourself killed or start any riots. Oi- Neal, what are you-"

The call was abruptly cut short, and Carlos stared at the phone several seconds before sticking it back in his pocket and heading towards the Ralph's. He hadn't heard any explosions in the direction of the housing development, so he assumed that nothing major had happened.

Probably.

As it was the middle of a weekday, the Ralph's was mostly empty. A few people stood outside and threw trash into the fire that was constantly burning outside, and one or two people were pushing around carts overflowing of lettuce and sprouts. As Carlos turned to go in, he heard someone call behind him, and turned to see Cecil walking towards him. He groaned internally. The radio broadcaster grinned and shook his hand, his tattoos swirling and spinning around his arms.

"Hello, Cecil," he said, relieved to see the radio broadcaster wasn't holding his microphone. "It's good to see you... out and about."

"Oh yes, it's good to see you too, Carlos," he said, grinning, his gaze raking over Carlos' hairline in almost an affectionate way that made Carlos uncomfortable.

"It's hot today. It always is, but especially now. So very, very hot."

That sparked the scientist's interest. "You think it's hot? You mean that you've lived here your entire life and haven't yet acclimated to the mean temperature of this region?"

Cecil tilted his head to one side. "What do you mean?"

Carlos sighed internally. He had to explain things a lot. Being a scientist, he had a larger than average vocabulary.

"Well, you've lived here your entire life, and it probably doesn't get much colder than about twenty one degrees Celsius, even in the winter. So this shouldn't seem to bad for you. I mean, you've never seen snow, most certainly, so-"

"Snow?" asked Cecil, "You mean snow is real? Even though places like this exist on this immeasurably tiny world spinning through an endless Void?"

Carlos frowned, surprised and mildly irritated that they obviously didn't teach about different climates in the schools. He would have to make sure Fredrick never found out.

"Of course snow exists. There's always snow somewhere in the world at any given time, even in the middle of the summer. I grew up in the Rocky Mountains, and sometimes it snowed pretty late in the season there."

Cecil had been listening carefully, but at soon as Carlos mentioned mountains, his expression changed. His friendly smile froze and became more guarded. Raising his eyebrows and glancing around, he laughed tensely. "You should be careful, joking about mountains. The Secret Police might not like that since mountains aren't real, and all that."

Carlos raised his eyebrows. "What do you mean mountains aren't real, that's ridic-"

"So," Cecil cut over him a little more loudly, obviously wanting to change the subject. "You're a scientist, and I wanted to ask you a question. Do you know what cats eat?"

Carlos glanced in the Ralph's. "They eat cat food, of course, and fresh-"

"Cat food?" Cecil laughed again, but this one sounded more natural. "You're funny. Do they always feed cats delicacies where you come from?"

Carlos blinked. "Cat food is a... delicacy?"

Cecil chuckled. "I mean, if that's what you think. He's still pretty young; his spine ridges haven't come in all the way."

"Spine ridges?"

"Of course. Haven't you ever seen a cat?"

Carlos watched him carefully to see if he could catch him joking. "No, not a cat like that, anyway."

"I thought all cats were like that. Hmm. Also, do you know of anyway to make a food or water bowl hover?"

" Yeah, I mean, unless it's really large cat, I think that would be unnecessary. Even so, you could put two strong fans on the sides on the horizontal line above and below where you would want it to hover and turn them both on. The trajectory force between both of them would eliminate the opposite force so that, if correctly aligned and the bowl was in a more or less streamline shape, it would remain more or less in the same position. I'm not sure how that would work with a bowl as the cat might tip it out of the direct speed of the fans, but as long as it was kept relatively stable, balanced, and the speed of either fan was just right, it would stay there until the speed was diminished and-"

Cecil stared blankly at him, and he trailed off. "Or you could pile books until it was as high as you wanted." He finished.

Cecil blinked several times and nodded. "Okay, I'll think I'll do that. I hope I can find enough government approved books in the station to stack four feet high."

Carlos felt concern churn in his gut. "So, exactly how big is this cat?"

"Oh, he's normal sized, but he's floating in a fixed position by the sink four feet up in the air."

That had not been what he was expecting.

Even so, he felt a surge of excitement. "Do you think that I can come see him sometime? Study him?"

Cecil beamed. "Of course! Yes, yes. Come by-" he blushed, and his tattoos swirled over his cheeks again. "-any time."

Instinctively straightening his lab coat, he nodded towards Cecil again and started heading towards the store. "I'll come by in an hour or two, if that's okay," he said, turning back towards him. Cecil nodded, smiling to himself, and continued walking, while Carlos went into the Ralph's, more confused by the conversation than anything.

How could he not believe in mountains?


	10. Glow Cloud

An hour later, he stood just inside of the radio station, nervously remembering the insane radiation levels that he had read the last time he was there. An intern was sitting at an empty desk this time, idly twirling a long stone knife in his left hand. Carlos could tell from a glance that he wasn't the same intern as the one who had escorted him up the last time. Chad had been pale, nearly green, while this boy had rich brown skin and red eyes.  
Even so, he seemed to be wearing the same name tag. "Chad" had been crossed out and "Jerry" scrawled on top. Jerry nodded at him, raising his eyebrows. "Salutations. You are Carlos, the scientist? Cecil remarked you would be stopping by. He seemed rather... enthusiastic, if you catch my meaning."

Carlos nodded, already too accustomed to the fact that Cecil had a crush on him to be overly embarrassed. "I could see that."

"Cecil ascended to begin his recording session not too long ago, but he usually takes a transitory break while the music plays between the introduction and the news sections of the broadcast. I can direct you up to his booth if you so desire, and you two can socialize as you wish."

The young man stuck the knife into the desk, standing up and motioning for the scientist to join him. The path seemed a little different than the last time that he had been that way. There were more stairs circling both upwards and downwards, shorter hallways; Station management's wails seemed distant. Finally, they were in front of Cecil's booth, where he was just finishing adjusting the buttons. He didn't seem to notice them, and flipped a button, lighting up the "On Air" sign. Carlos noticed for the first time that Cecil seemed to change somewhat as he picked up his microphone and turned it on. His third eye glowed, his skin became paler, and his tattoos seemed to become... less attached. It almost looked like they were floating just above his arms like murky tendrils of purple light. Carlos shivered. There was something very wrong with this guy. "The desert seems vast, even endless, but scientists tell us that somewhere, even now, there is snow. Welcome- to Night Vale."

He flipped another switch, and the strange music, which seemed to be the theme song, started playing. Pushing his chair back, he pressed a few more buttons, and stood up, waving at Carlos and Jerry through the glass wall. The moment he put his microphone down, his eye dimmed and his tattoos fastened back to his arms, still swirling. "I recorded the announcement about Radon Canyon beforehand, so we'll have more time to look at the cat. I'm still deciding on a name. Maybe..." He ran his hand through his hair. "Khoshekh."

Carlos raised his eyebrows, trying not to formulate theories about Cecil's tattoos and focus on the conversation.

"Do you like the name?" he asked eagerly.

"Sure. Where did you say he was... floating?"

"In the men's bathroom, near the sink."

It never really occurred to him to think that Cecil was lying. Something about his way of deep, calm way of speaking or his complete transparency on the public radio.

Upon entering the restroom, Carlos' attention was immediately drawn to the cat, next to the sink.

Wait. Was that a cat?

It was a bit too large, and a greyish blue color. Spikes the color of its shaggy fur projected from its back along its backbone, and it's tail was far too long. Two bowls of water, some kind of ground meat, and a litter box were balanced on top of stacks of cassette tapes right next to it. Cecil smiled. "He's so cute! Watch out for the spine ridges, they're poisoned. Of course, you knew that. You're a scientist!"

Carlos shrugged, only knowing that all the cats he had seen so far in his life did not have spine ridges.

Khoshekh opened his glowing yellow eyes, blinking sleepily a few times before turning around in midair and yawning, revealing a mouthful of needle sharp teeth. Looking between the scientist, newscaster, and intern, it shook out its fur and let out a shrieking roar. Carlos jumped back, but Cecil patted it carefully and put a few more scoops of the unidentified meat into the cat bowl. Khosheck spun around in the air once more so he faced the bowl, then stretched out his neck and began to gulp down the food. Curious but hesitant, Carlos passed a hand several inches above it's back, than beneath the cat's stomach.

There was nothing at all holding him up.

The air was a little warm and made his fingers tingle ever so slightly, but there were no ropes, no invisible barriers, nothing.

Just a floating cat... thing.

He took several steps back, trying to suppress his panic. Occasionally it flared up, and it would take a long time to beat back down again. "That's... cool. Okay. Um... yeah. Thanks for showing me, I guess?"

Cecil nodded, still staring at him. "Yeah. Oh, I forgot!" He pulled a damp paper package out of his pocket and handed it to the scientist. Carlos stared at it in mild suspicion as Cecil bounced on his heels, excited. "It's for you."

Carlos slowly unwrapped the package and removed a small, smooth rock. It was almost completely round, and easily fit in the palm of his hand. It did not look like a normal rock, however. Red swirls ran through jet black.

And it oozed blood.

Carlos nearly dropped it, holding it out away from his lab coat. It was only Tuesday; he couldn't get his Monday-through-Wednesday lab coat messy and covered in blood yet. Cecil beamed. "It's a bloodstone! I noticed you didn't have one earlier, and you'll probably need it, living here and all."

Carlos shuddered inwardly as a thin trail of blood made its way from the rock through one of the lines in his palm. "Thank you, I guess. What should I, um, how should I transport it?"

"Oh, just stick it in your pocket, it won't bleed unless you're holding it in your hand."

Carlos did so, quickly rinsing his hand in the sink he stood next to. This was a bit much; Cecil was really weird. The broadcaster grinned at him. "Your hair looks nice today. It always looks nice, of course, but-"

Jerry rolled his eyes and walked up behind his employer. "I do believe that you are being unintentionally intimidating, sir. It is nearly time for you to resume your broadcast, so, if you would be so kind as to excuse me, I will accompany Dr. Carlos back to the front of the building."

Cecil looked disappointed, but nodded. "Okay. Come back soon."

Carlos followed on Jerry's heels, guiltily anxious to get away. "I might. Thanks for letting me stop by, and for the... bloodstone. You sound probably get back to your radio show."

Cecil's third eye suddenly flared with an intense purple light, and his two normal eyes became unfocused. "I probably should," he said in a deep, distant voice. "Important things will happen today."

He turned and slowly walked out of the bathroom, back towards his booth. Jerry watched him for a moment, then shrugged and switched his knife to his other hand. "If you so desire, we can slide to the front entrance. Stairs can be inefficient as modes of transportation, at times."

Without waiting for an answer, he blinked his red eyes several times and the floor disappeared beneath them. Carlos yelped, but there was nothing to grab onto and they were shooting down a long, thick tube. Then, it was gone, and they were standing in front of the entrance door once more. Jerry sat back down at the desk, putting his two knives from his hands into his belt and gathering the several knives stuck in the desk in his arms. "Good day, sir. It was a pleasure to meet you, and I hope that sometime in the near future we will further our acquaintance," said Jerry, bowing. Slightly dizzy, Carlos could only nod before pushing the door open.

At first, he didn't quite set what was going on. One of the first things he noticed was the music. Other than that, it was silent, and it didn't seem like music that would normally be playing in a busy street. It sounded like someone whistling Rondo Alla Turka by Mozart really, really well. Glancing around, he saw most of the people in his view were looking upwards, murmuring quietly.

Carlos looked up.

And he saw it.

A large, glowing cloud was rolling over town. It seemed to hang pretty low, and was enormous. The colors were vibrant, looking somewhat like methane blue stain and pure chlorophyll extract, always swirling and never mixing.

"Color of blood on smooth pavement," muttered a nearby young woman. "Absolutely beautiful."

The man standing next to her tilted his head. "Mmm, not really. More like children's teeth plated in a gold medallion."

Carlos repressed a shudder at the unpleasant mental image, trying to figure out if the thickness of retinas or nerve endings could affect the color people see.

He couldn't really think of anything.

After a few seconds of hesitation on the sidewalk, he turned and headed back towards the lab, formulating a plan.

Strolling back into the lab, he saw Travis inside, glaring at the slides and tweezers Carlos had left scattered near his microscope earlier.

"Where have you been?" he asked, exasperated. They had got almost nothing done in nearly two weeks and it was starting to irritate him.

"Out and about," answered Carlos, placing the bloodstone in his station. He would examine it later. Strolling over to a row of boxes with scientific instruments, he took several out. His radiation detector, a radar transmitter, a thermometer, and a small device to measure air composition.

Travis raised an eyebrow. "What are you planning on doing with that interesting selection of equipment?"

Placing his things in a small duffel bag, he grabbed cotton swabs in protective cases, just in case. "Going to go check out the glowing cloud. I think it's coming over the town."

Travis stared at him like he was an idiot. "A cloud. You're going to go examine a cloud."

Carlos shrugged. "You never know, right?"

Quickly exiting the lab, he rushed out on the street, noticing that the cloud had moved closer, and was nearing the middle of the town. Pulling out his air composition measurer, he started scanning the area around him when he noticed one of the "secret" police leaning against Big Rico's Pizza, surrounded by a small group of listeners. "Nah, the Glow Cloud isn't dangerous! What are you talking about? There's only been like, what, maybe _one_ death that might be attributed to it. Don't run away! Why would you want to do that? You know what I personally suggest? Why don't you try running directly at the Cloud, shrieking and waving your arms. You know, just to see what it does."

Carlos moved away as the crowd started murmuring, daring each other to do what the person suggested, heading in the direction of the Glow Cloud and pointing his device up at it. There had to be something special about it. As he began to move near the cloud, it seemed to move closer to the center of the town. The small device in his hand beeped, and he looked at the reading. It seemed mostly normal, perhaps the level of argon was a little high. He continued to move closer to the cloud, and the cloud moved closer to him. It was moving quite quickly now, and a lot bigger than he had first thought. He scanned the air consistency again, noticing that the argon was normal again, but there was more nitrogen. Argon, nitrogen, argon, nitrogen, almost like the cloud was... breathing. Shivering, he tested the radiation. Surprisingly, it was actually a lot lower than what it had been last time he checked, almost a normal reading.

That was unusual.

He walked forward slowly, ready to run at the first sign of anything strange.

Anything stranger, that is, than a brightly glowing cloud that was seen as a different color by every person and was humming classical music.

Carlos walked even closer, noticing that the people underneath the cloud were either ducking and running around, staring up with a confused expression.

Then, he felt something very heavy hit his shoulder.

Stumbling from the sudden impact, he nearly dropped the delicate instrument in his hand as he tried to figure out what happened.

A dead armadillo was lying on the ground next him.

It wasn't until then when he noticed that the road in front of him was littered with small, dead animals, ranging in size from mice to German Shepherds. Another thing landed in his hair and he yelped, jumping back and shaking his head. A large lizard, quite dead.

How in the world could a dead lizard fall from a glowing cloud?

Animals ranging from about one to thirty pounds began to fall more heavily as the cloud came directly over them, and Carlos ran to a nearby doorway for shelter- an ice cream shop that had seen many better days. The door was propped open, and he could hear Cecil's voice coming from a radio, partially blurred by the frantic, blaring tune of Rondo Alla Turka coming from above.

"-Cloud has doubled in size, enveloping all of Night Vale in its weird light and humming song. Little League administration has announced they _will_ be going ahead with the game, although there will be an awning built over the field, due to the increase in size of the animal corpses being dropped."

Carlos let out a quiet, incredulous laugh. Cecil was so insanely unconcerned about all the crazy, illogical things that happened that it was borderline ridiculous. A woman who had ducked in the shop for shelter came back out, holding a table over her head, looking quite annoyed. "Of all days to leave my standard heavyweight umbrella at home," she grumbled, stepping out into the downpour of bodies. Carlos didn't move, until-

 _CRUNCH!_

He jumped back as the ceiling of the ice cream shop cracked, trying to see what had hit the roof while avoiding being hit by the dead animals, quickly growing in size. A full-grown male lion, awkwardly twisted from its fall, lay sprawled across the roof, oozing blood.

A woman with a color-splotched white apron rushed out and craned her neck to see the top of the store. "What happened?"

"It looks like a dead African lion fell on top of your store, ma'am."

He honestly never thought he'd be saying those words out loud to another human being.

The woman sighed and looked at the small group of people under the banister. "Does anyone know how to get it off?"

"-fell on top of the White Sand Ice Cream Shop. The shop is offering a free dipped cone to anyone who can figure out how to get the thing off."

The woman shrugged. "Sure, why not Cecil."

Carlos raised his eyebrows as a group of black-clad Secret Police ran past them, holding boards of plywood over their heads, towards the middle of the Cloud. The thing now stretched as far as he could see in all directions, covering the entire town. Still holding the boards, one of the Police poked its head out.

"What are you? Why are you dropping dead animals on us? What do you want?"

Two well-aimed elephants shot down from the cloud, and the Police leaped out of the way. All of a sudden, the Cloud turned a dark, violent red. The apparent owner of the ice cream shop frowned, stumbling a little. One or two people around Carlos crumpled to the ground, their eyes rolling back into their heads while they held their hands over their ears or curled into the fetal position. Carlos began to feel woozy. His head spun and his knees felt weak and his vision began to blur. Cecil's voice seemed to become deeper and slower and more menacing as the people all around him dropped to the ground, dead or unconscious he couldn't tell.

"It does not feel as we tiny humans feel. It has no need for thoughts or feelings of love. The Glow Cloud simply is. All hail the mighty Glow Cloud. **Alllll hailllll...** "

Carlos stumbled, everything going black.

***  
"Sorry, listeners. Not sure what happened in that earlier section of the broadcast." Cecil's voice. Back to normal. And nothing else. Carlos opened his eyes, swaying as he realized he was still standing up. Only a few other people were standing; one or two were rising to their feet. Most people were laying among the dead animals, still unconscious. The Glow Cloud was just bright blue and green speck in the distance, and it was nearing twilight. The odd smell of vanilla was just barely masking the stench of animal bodies rotting from exposure to desert sun. Stepping over a pink version of Khosheck, he walked into the White Sand Ice Cream Shop and over to the radio. "I actually don't remember what happened." Cecil's voice seemed friendlier and less distantly professional than usual as Carlos sat down, interested. "I tried to play back the tapes, but they're all blank, and smell faintly of... vanilla."

The tapes were blank? How was that possible?

"The Glow Cloud, meanwhile, has moved on. It is now just a glowing spot in the distance. Humming east to destinations unknown."

The woman in the white apron joined him by the radio, rubbing her temples and looking anxious and confused.  
"We may never fully understand, or understand _at all_ what is was or why it dumped a bunch of dead animals on our community."

Other people were waking up too. Without any exceptions, they all neared the radio, or flipped on their own personal radios and sat down.

"But- and I'm going to get a little personal here- that's the essence of life, isn't it? Sometimes you go through things that seem huge at the time, like a mysterious glowing cloud devouring your entire community, while they're happening, they feel like the only thing that matters and you can hardly imagine that there's a world out there that might have anything else going on. And then the Glow Cloud moves on. And you move on. And the event is behind you. And you may find, as time passes, that you remember less and less, or maybe not at all, in my case. And you are left with nothing but a powerful wonder at the fleeting nature of even the most important things in life, and the faint, but pretty, smell of vanilla." Carlos sighed. Things didn't make any sense. He was tired. Before he slipped out, he glanced back in the shop at about ten people clustered around the radio, brought together by Cecil's broadcast.

People did listen to Cecil, then. If he could only get the broadcaster to relay accurate information about science, then he might actually be able to get something done.

Getting back to the lab, he was pretty surprised to see everyone milling about as usual. Fredrick was writing percentages across the blackboard, Bethany was dissecting a dead lizard, Delaney was organizing boxes, and Travis was holding a twisted, charred piece of metal and yelling at a smirking Neal. Setting a box down, Delaney strolled over to him.

"What did you think?"

Carlos ran a hand through his hair as he glanced down. His lab coat was splattered with blood from the dead animals, and his hands were shaking slightly.

"Kind of weird that people just started collapsing in the streets. If the Glow Cloud was sentient, I guess it might have sent out some sort of telepathic wave..."

She raised her eyebrows, looking confused. "What? We came in when rodents and lizards started falling from the sky, and heard that Cecil guy go nuts on the radio. People were _collapsing_? Is everyone okay?"

Travis had apparently overheard the exchange, as he dropped the piece of metal on a table and rushed over to them. " _What_ did you just say?"

Carlos blinked. "Kind of weird that people just started collapsing in the streets. If the Glow Cloud was sentient, it mi-"

Travis stamped his foot. "How the hell could a _cloud_ be sentient? You're a scientist, use your head for once!"

Carlos felt irritation surge inside of him. "How could a cloud be sentient? How could this town exist? We've only been here two weeks and I've seen angels, floating hooded figures, previously unknown species of animals, cats that float in midair, people with extra body parts living perfectly normal lives, people who don't believe in mountains, and almost every law of physics broken besides. Why shouldn't a Glow Cloud be sentient and be able to send out telepathy waves?"

He glared at his team leader, and the rest of the scientists half-watched them awkwardly. Finally, after several tense seconds, Travis threw his hands up in the air. "You know what, think whatever you want to think. I don't care."

He obviously did care, however, as he stormed to the other side of the laboratory and began setting up a series of scientific equipment with unnecessary force. Carlos watched him for a moment, his arms crossed, and the rest of the team slowly began doing their stuff again.

"Hey Carlos," Bethany piped up cautiously. "Come look at this." She was looking into a small machine which sat next to a foul-smelling cup over a Bunsen burner. "I extracted some DNA from the specimen." She nodded towards the lizard stretched out on the tray. "In every respect, it looks like a Gila Monster. A perfect specimen, probably died from suffocation. Anyway, I put the DNA sample under the scanner to check if it is correct. And, well, the scanner doesn't recognize it. The lizard isn't made of lizard DNA. It's not made of any kind of recognizable DNA, and from what I can tell, the DNA is a weird pinkish gold, just like the Cloud. It's almost like it _was_ part of the Cloud. Is that... possible?"

Carlos sighed quietly. The first week he had been here, he had wanted to run through the town screaming questions and demanding answers. He no longer really felt like that. Yes, he wanted answers. Desperately. But he was starting to wonder if he would never get them. Shrugging at his coworker, he shot her a small half-smile. "You never know, do you? You never know."

 **A/N- Sorry about the wait. Technical difficulties and school and all that. If I were Joseph Fink, I would be working Kevin back into the plot of the podcast instead of writing fanfiction. Reviews are appreciated, and have a good day**


	11. Libraries and Books

**A/N- Hiya, guys. Long story short, I'm getting rid of the device I was writing on, and it will be a long time, if ever, when I update again. I had a pretty good sized chunk already written out, so here it is. Thanks for everything, you guys are the best**.

Carlos ran his hand through his hair, brushing it out of his face. It fell right back where it had, dangling in front of his lab goggles. Setting the bloodstone he was studying down, he huffed in frustration and stood up straight, trying to part his hair correctly and push it behind his ears. It was tangled and kind of dirty. They had access to showers, but the heavy winds were constantly blowing sand around and it was nearly impossible to keep clean. Plus, it was hot and uncomfortable on the back of his neck.

"That's it," he said out loud in the empty lab. "I'm getting a haircut. Enough is enough."

A nearby counter squeaked, as if agreeing with him.

He pushed his stool back, but it tipped over and he crashed to the ground. Just at that moment, Neal jumped down from the ladder, raising his eyebrows when he saw Carlos sprawled across the tile floor, holding his scalpel straight up in the air to keep it from cutting him, while the stool was rolling away and gently bumping into the table. As his coworker sat up, Neal strolled across the room and started going through the small stack of boxes that had not yet been unpacked yet. They sat in the corner in the otherwise tidy lab, without any other place to go. "What are you doing?" he asked Carlos.

Carlos crouched over the stool, detangling a cord from one of the legs and standing it upright. "I'm going to get my hair cut."

Neal subconsciously ran a hand over his own bald head. "Cool. Here, in Night Vale?"

"Where else?"

Neal ignored the question, pulling out the map he had been looking for. "Delaney and I are going to check out the library since apparently is having some 'renovations,'" he said, making air quotes. "And we haven't gone yet. I was going to invite you to join us, but you're going to go do that instead."

Carlos nodded, taking the map from Neal and scanning it for a hairdresser of some sort. Neal looked over Carlos' shoulder, then pointed to a dot not far from the scrublands surrounding the city. "Telly's," he read.

A hour later, Telly stepped back, tilting his head to one side. "How iz zhat?"

Carlos felt his stomach twist. Yes, he had wanted his hair cut, but he hadn't mentally prepared for it yet.

It was, well, it was short.

He ran a hand over his head. It hadn't been that short in years, if ever. Not that it was _terribly_ short or close-shaven, but it had always been mounds of waves and loose curls falling over his ear and the back of his neck. And it no longer did that.

His hair _was_ a bit shorter than he had wanted, he decided as he stood up. He smiled at the barber. "It's perfect, thank you." At least it would be more comfortable in the heat. Telly nodded, brushing a few strands off the counter. "It should feel better in this weather." He had a foreign accent, which was strange, since it seemed like he was one of the regular Night Valians instead of an outsider. And his accent seemed pretty unusual. Was it Italian? German? A combination of both? Carlos was bad with placing accents.

Telly studied his customer's reflection in the mirror thoughtfully as Carlos pulled out the money to pay him. "I wonder vhat Cecil vill think."

Carlos felt a surge of irritation as he passed over the money. The radio show host was obsessed with his hair, and was sure to make a comment of some sort when he found out. Well, maybe if it was shorter, he would start leaving Carlos alone. "I don't care what he thinks. It's my hair, my decision."

Telly raised his eyebrows. "Oh, you vill care. 'e's very passionate about... some things."

Carlos shrugged. "Okay, then. Thank you."

As he walked back to the lab, he couldn't help but notice multiple people taking slight double takes as he walked pass, noticing his hair. It was a lot more comfortable (and it no longer fell in front of his face,) but he was not appreciating all the stares.

Getting back to the lab, he jumped down and saw Delaney and Neal leaning against the wall, not doing anything. Neal looked more shaken than he had looked so far that month, stretching something in a notepad. He didn't even look up as Carlos came in. Delaney raised her eyebrows. "You got your hair cut."

"I did."

"It looks... nice."

"Why thank you," he glanced at Neal. "What happened?"

"We went to see the library," said Delaney when Neal didn't look up, "which apparently was undergoing renovations. Well, when we got there, they were setting a large wooden building with iron bars for windows and no door on fire. The fire immediately filled the entire building, and everyone cheered."

"That's weird, but what's so... disturbing other than that? I mean, we've seen stranger."

"Well, as the building was completely consumed, we started to hear screeching coming from it, and everyone started running away. It was horrible sounds, you know, the fingernails on a chalkboard sort of thing. There was something in the library, and they were burning it alive."

"That's not the only thing," continued Neal, looking up. "I saw something reach through the bars. It looked like a green arm, ending in a foot with three long claws, almost like a Raxacoricofalapatorian from Doctor Who. But... nothing like I had ever seen before in real life. Nothing is like that in real life."

Carlos nodded, shivering. Apparently, there were multiple species exclusive to Night Vale. Not that he really wanted to check out something that the people had set on fire and cheered about.

"I was going to go check out the burn sight, scan for any type of recognizable DNA. Neal doesn't want to come, but you can if you want to."

"Sure," he grabbed his bag of equipment and climbed up after her, calibrating his devices as he went.

"So tell me," she said as he followed her out, "What made you decide to do that to your hair?"

"We're in a desert," he answered, scanning the air for radioactivity. It was normal, which in Night Vale was about ten times higher than an average human would survive in.

"True. No ponytail?" She grinned, shaking her own. She had barely taken it down the entire month they had been there.

"Definitely not," he answered firmly, smiling. They kept walking, Delaney turning every now and then as they moved towards the edge of town. She had an amazing memory, especially when it came to landmarks. However, after a few minutes, she stopped and turned around several times. "Did I make a wrong turn?" she muttered. Carlos came to a stop too, carefully holding the bag of equipment so that it didn't jostle.

"What's wrong?"

"That thing was definitely not there when we came this way half an hour ago." She jerked her head to the left, and Carlos looked up at the massive structure. An oval stadium, made of the same black material as the dog park walls.

" **NIGHT VALE COMMUNITY STADIUM** ," read the sign on the padlocked gate, " **DO NOT APPROACH ANY DAY OTHER THAN NOVEMBER TENTH**."

Delaney glanced at her phone. "Currently _not_ November tenth. Let's keep moving."

They continued on, until Delaney turned once more and stood in front of an ashy plot of ground. She spread her arms out. "Ta-da. Wait a second."

"What?"

"Two things. I thought that the foundation had burnt too, and secondly, why is that thing full of- is that milk?"

She pointed at the newspaper stand in front of the Bowling Alley and Arcade Fun Complex, which stood a little ways down the road. Carlos squinted, stepping closer.

It was full of milk.

The white liquid oozed between the plastic siding and sloshed out onto the sidewalk in front of it. Teddy Williams, owner of said bowling alley and arcade fun complex, was drinking a red plastic cup of the substance and talking to a small crowd that stood on the road.

"Yep, there is definitely a underground city beneath the pin retrieval area of lane five. How far down it is and how big it is is beyond me, but they now know that we are here, and will certainly make war." He raised a bowling pin like a club. "Who's with me? Who will fight against the invaders?"

A few people cheered, and Teddy grinned, taking another sip from his cup. He nodded towards someone in the crowd. "The edition of the milk to the newspaper cycle was a very good idea, Leanne." A tall woman wearing glasses and holding a hatchet nodded back. "Thank you, Teddy. We want to retain an unbiased approach to news reporting."

Delaney returned her gaze to the burnt out space where the library used to stand, scanning it. "Not too different, level of methane is pretty high, scratch that, it's really high. Almost one percent of the air composition." She started walking in a slow circle. "I wonder if they poured gasoline on the building before lighting it... I mean, that goes against pretty much every standard safety law of the average town government, but..."

"They have a system of Secret Police that monitor everything and everyone but no one acts very fazed," Carlos finished, and she nodded, pulling out a radiation detector. After scanning the air, she examined the reading, jostling the device several times before sticking it back into the bag with an irritated huff.

"Well, screw that," she muttered, taking another step forward. "Anyway, like I said, I thought the foundations were burnt too. They're wood, which is unusual in and of itself. Foundations should be stone or concrete."  
Carlos, who was a good head shorter than Delaney, stood on his toes. Yes, he could see through the mounds of fluffy grey paper ash that the wooden foundations were still fully intact. They were even slightly above ground in the corners, not even burnt. Half of him was for stepping into the charred plot and getting a closer look, but the other (more practical) side was urging him to run away and hide in the lab because something was _definitely not right_.

Of course, that part of him had been screaming at him since he drove across the Night Vale city borders on Route 800.

Determined, he took a step closer, so he was about three feet away from where the walkway up to the charred plot began. Delaney raised an eyebrow but didn't say anything. He stood in the spot for a second, hesitating, when someone called from further up the road. He immediately tensed, but relaxed when he realized that it was not Cecil but Fredrick. He, Travis, and Bethany were coming from the opposite direction of Teddy William's Bowling Alley and Arcade Fun Complex. Bethany appeared to be holding what looked like a folding metal prod, at least ten feet long when stretched out. Fredrick waved nervously as he approach, glancing between the two others. "You cut your hair," he said, shaking his own violently red curls just slightly. Carlos nodded. "Good observation. What were you guys doing?"

Bethany handed Travis the metal pole. "We were still over at the House That Doesn't Really Exist. Travis still hasn't gotten up the nerve to go knock on the door."

The older scientist glanced at her with mild irritation. "Why don't you go do it then, if it's as easy as that?"

She held up her clipboard. "I can take notes faster than the rest of you _combined_. We determined that almost a year and a half ago. So, logically speaking, it would make more sense if I stayed outside and documented what happened while you at least went to see if anyone answered the door."

Travis didn't say anything to that, but looked at the remains of the library. "I hope that you two are not responsible for this damage to city grounds." Delaney nodded, her face completely serious. "Yep, it was horrible. Carlos pulled out his scientifically modified flamethrower out of his lab coat and shot the entire building down for no reason. Naturally, the Secret Police on every other street corner stood by and let him do it."

Carlos rolled his eyes at his smirking coworker as Travis groaned loudly. Bethany raised her eyebrows, her face otherwise blank, and Fredrick bit his lip as glanced between Travis and the two others nervously. "Is now really the time?" he sighed.

"It's always the time," she answered cheerily.

Travis closed his eyes for a second, composing himself, then opened them again. "You know what? You two continue whatever foolishness you were up to. I'm going back to the laboratory and am going to locate and disable all of the 'security' cameras and voice recorders the Secret Police have rigged inside." Bethany followed him, still holding her notebook, but Fredrick stayed. "So, what really happened here?" he asked as Delaney started syncing a small device from the bag that could detect DNA and determine what species it came from.

"They burned the building down. Neal and Delaney thought they saw something inside during the process, and she wanted to try and see if she could figure out what it was. Delaney nodded, then pointed the silver stick at Carlos. "Smile!" she said as the end lit up with a buzzing green light, then examined the reading. "Yep, it works. Congratulations, you are fully human." He chuckled, and she started walking around in front of the plot, pointing the stick at different mounds of ash.

"Where'd you get that?" asked Fredrick, pushing his glasses a little higher on his face.

"New technology. Came out only a few days before we left," she answered sharply. She was only completely focused and serious when she was in the middle of sciencing, and hated being disturbed by other people. "Managed to get one. It's picking something up. There are traces of DNA in the fire, the DNA of a... c'mon, hurry up and load!"

Instead of showing the results, the green bulb on the end popped off and the stick began emitting black smoke. The little screen near the base went dark. "Damn!" she muttered, "I almost had something." Screwing the end back where it was supposed to go, she jostled the device around a bit and breathed a sigh of relief when it turned back on. However, when she tried to scan the ground again, it just read **"NO DATA"**. She flipped it back off and on several times. "Of course, now it says that there's no DNA there. That went well."

"Are you sure it's still working?" asked Fredrick.

She pointed it at him, then at Carlos. "Yup, yup. Two _homo sapiens_ right in front of me. It's working all right. It just-"

She pointed it back at the ash, but this time, the reading was almost instantly replaced with " **ERROR** ". She huffed, and started walking down the street, the device still glowing and buzzing as she scanned random things. Herself, the sidewalk, a woman with several dozen eyes up and down her arms strolling across the street. Carlos and Fredrick caught up with her after the last one, as she had stopped and tapped the screen several times. After a few seconds, homo sapiens popped up, but it quickly flickered away.

"You know, I'm not sure how well this scanner actually works," she said after a few minutes, when it insisted a stray dog was a lizard and what looked like it might be a type of a tree was human. "New, unperfected technology and all of that. Hmm."

She pointed it at what looked like crumpled Pepsi can lying on the pavement with a small red flag sticking out of it, pausing as her scanner (most likely) started figuring out how many kinds of bacteria were on it. But instead, the screen stated flashing and emitting a high pitched beeping noise and the small device split entirely in half, spewing black smoke. Delaney stared at it for a moment, then took a step back. "We should... probably get away from that thing."

Neither of her male coworkers argued and quickly followed her back to the lab, where she set the scanner down on an empty counter. Neal had just finished a detailed drawing of the claw he had seen through the library window, and was flipping through an encyclopedia to try to find something close to it. Bethany was carefully taking apart what might have been a chunk out of a tree branch, while Travis was watching over her shoulder, much to her irritation. The radio hummed as quietly as Neal could get it to hum in the background, and Carlos focused on it. Cecil was speaking, of course. "The counsel would like me to remind you that any litter marked with a red flag is not to be picked up or approached. Remember the slogan- No flag? Goes in the bag. Red flag? Run."

Well, that might possibly explain a few things, even if it opened up a dozen more unanswered questions.

Ignoring the radio as best as he could, Carlos picked up one half of the broken DNA scanner. He was not a skilled mechanic, quite the opposite, but he still was pretty interested in whether or not the thing would be able to get to work again. It looked like it would have to be scrapped. Data chips were snapped in half, burnt ends of wires stuck out of the broken part, the plastic coating singed off. The light bulb on the end was cracked, the little wires completely separated inside. Fredrick shrugged, glancing at Delaney. "That's a shame. You never know, you might be able to email the university, see if you could get another one."

"Yeah, because they collect and distribute mail here. There are always trucks filled with the stuff going in and put of town," she answered nippily before setting the other half back down. "Seriously though, has anyone actually seen a mail truck or plane leaving town? Has anyone seen anything at all leaving town?"

"That's the way this place is," muttered Travis, who had apparently been listening. "Gets all in your head, addles you up. I'd we had any sense at all we would have immediately turned around and left the day we got here."

No one said anything, all staring at their hands. Neal quietly turned a page in his book, but stopped. He paused, and flipped the page several more times, each time the grating whisper getting louder. A loud snapped cracked the air, and Carlos whirled around, just in time to duck the book Neal had hurled across the room. It hit a table, then skidded down and landed on the floor, knocking several test tubes and Bunsen burners down as it did so. Green smoke and sparks billowed from where it landed, and Carlos, covering his mouth and nose with his lab coat, ran over to where it fell. He heard someone yell, "What the hell was that for!?" (probably Travis,) and Neal stutter something about his hands burning and the words disappearing. The green smoke smelled like hot, cooking bacon, even through the protective layer of cloth, and he coughed. Grabbing a nearby stirring rod, he pushed it open, and saw just for a second that all the words had disappeared. Then, it snapped shut again.

And lunged at him.

Yelling, he stumbled backwards and climbed up on a chair as complete pandemonium broke out behind him. Travis was cursing up a storm, someone knocked over another stool, someone (Fredrick, he thought) screamed "That stuff is poisonous! Get gas masks!"

Carlos pressed the lab coat tighter to his nose, taking small breaths. His ears were ringing, and his head felt foggy. His skin burned and itched as the smoke continued to swirl around him, and he noticed more of it coming from the stack of encyclopedias and reference books. Fredrick tossed him a gas mask, and he caught it, letting his coat slip when he did so. He didn't even breathe the gas in as he fumbled for the straps and covered his, face, but a headache stabbed behind his eyes. Taking a see breath of the filtered air, he kneeled on the chair and leaned over as the book slid across the floor, snapping and biting on its own accord, reminding him of a scene from the beginning of _Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban_. For some reason, however, he didn't feel completely overwhelmed or frightened that a scene from a fantasy book was happening to him (complete with sparks and potentially lethal gas), but numbly acceptant. Almost like he had lost the ability to be surprised.

Once he got the mask on, he got on his knees on the chair, still holding the stirring rod like a weapon. The book snapped open and closed, apparently unable to move other than the initial leap. Flipping it around, he jabbed the stick down, pressing the book closed. It thrashed under the rod with surprising strength, nearly slipping out several times, but eventually it stilled. The gas (almost filling the entire lab by this point) still puffed from between the pages, though it wasn't quite as much as before.

It seemed.

Pushing the book across the floor, the stirring rod still firmly pressed to the top to keep it closed, got it to the airtight supply closet and slammed the door the moment it was in. The others caught on pretty quickly, and soon all the books had been moved to the closet and the trapdoor was flung open so the lab could air out. Travis started running around and cursing, (as he usually did when something weird and unusual happened,) but the rest of the scientists huddled on plastic chairs as far away from the supply closet as possible. Except Carlos. As soon as the initial danger had passed and the gas masks were safe to remove, he stepped out of the lab and flipped open his phone's contacts to Cecil. It almost seemed like an automatic response to anything weird that happened, even though the radio host offered literally no help and ultimately made things more complicated.

"Cecil?" he asked as soon as the ringing stopped.

"Carlos!" There was a pause. "What- oh no. What happened to your hair?"

Carlos turns around, half expecting the radio broadcaster to be hiding in the scruffy bushes by the sidewalk. Nothing.

"Um, Cecil, how-"

"It's short!" he cried, distraught. Carlos turned in a complete circle, looking every direction, but the only people out was a man wearing a tan- actually no, no one was out. "It- it's cut! Oh Carlos, I-"

"That's not what I called you about!" Carlos interrupted, and Cecil's near-sobs quieted. "Books- they just-" he fumbled for words. "They stopped working!"

Cecil paused. "Books? You have books? Oh Carlos, how rebellious!"

"They are encyclopedias that belong to my team," he said through clenched teeth. "Will you just pay attention now?"

"Okay, okay. What about them?"

"Just like -" he motioned vaguely, wincing as he thought about how "like" is not a very scientific word. "You know, sparks- white sparks, in the shape of letters, green smoke, potentially lethal gas, unexplained biting, and the smell of..." Bacon did not sound very scientific either.  
"-meat."

"Do you have any explanation? Are we in any danger?"

"No explanation yet, my team is working on it." at least they should be, he added silently. "If it hadn't happened anywhere else people should put their books somewhere like a basement or a closet that's airtight. I don't know why in the world that would happen, but-"

He frowned. "It might have had something to do with the library burning down? I mean, you live here, is that possible?"

"Oh, the bimonthly library burning was today? I missed it. Again. No, that couldn't have had anything to do with it. A genius idea, though, if I do say so myself."

Carlos rolled his eyes. "Bimonthly library bur- no, that doesn't matter right now. Can you tell people about the books?"

"Of course! But about your hair-"

"I've got to go, sorry. You can continue your broadcast."

"Okay, goodbye!"

Carlos stuck his hands in his lab coat and looked back up at the radio station, remembering the window which could focus in on anything. He shuddered, creeped out by the idea that Cecil could be watching him right then. Turning, he climbed back into the lab, nearly falling on top of Travis, who stood at the bottom. The older scientist ignored him and clapped his hands. "Okay, we need to go back to the house that doesn't really exist and run some more tests, but one of us has to stay here and document all changes on the books. Carlos- you do that."

"Okay. I'm so glad I volunteered." Delaney shot him an approving smirk, but Travis ignored the comment. "We need to get everything together, first, though, so everyone do your respective duties while I get things together."

Having no real respective duties, the others milled around to find something to do, avoiding the supply closet. Carlos found himself cleaning microscope slides next to Delaney, who was trying to fix the database on one of their laptops so it would connect to Wi-Fi, which seemed to be a completely different type of airwave in Night Vale. She tapped the nearby radio, making the volume increase by a few notches. "So, what were you doing outside? Did you tell your boyfriend about the books?"

"He's not my boyfriend."

"Have you heard the way he talks about you? I'm not sure if he knows that." She punched his arm playfully, and he shook his head, smiling slightly. "I think you're right about that. Do you know if we made a slide with the silt from Hidden Gorge?"

After about five minutes, Cecil's voice came back on the radio.

"Listeners, we are currently fielding several reports that books have stopped working."

Cecil gave a short explanation, ending with a statement the City Council had released, saying the books are dangerous, inadvisable, and should not be kept in private homes. Delaney shook her head in wonder. "I will never get over how he is able to say things like that so calmly."

"Okay, time to go," announced Travis, and Delaney turned to Carlos, fluttering her eyelashes. "If we get eaten by the house or blown up with antimatter," she said sappily, "remember that I loved you."

"Will do, _hermana_ ," he replied, rolling his eyes. She smirked, but looked a little apprehensive  
as she buttoned up her lab coat. "Seriously though, what will happen if one of us dies? What will we tell the university? Their families?"

Carlos suddenly felt worry churn in him too, though it seemed strange and not really related to what she was talking about. "I don't know. We'll figure out something, I guess."

She nodded, biting her lip and glancing at Travis. Now that was unusual. If she was ever scared or worried, she always hid it. She shook her head. "I don't know, man. It's probably nothing."

As they all climbed out and left him alone, he felt the gnawing worry too, as if he had done something wrong or forgotten something. Shaking his head a little, he turned back to organizing the slides they had made. The worry didn't fade, if anything it grew stronger. Something horrible was happening. Something was going terribly, terribly wrong, people were dying, things were exploding, they had to be, what was he doing? Why was he just down here doing nothing? What was that, did the floorboards squeak? Was something else in the lab? His breathing sped up and he spun around, the emptiness not easing his quickly rising panic in the slightest.

To the end of his days, he never figured out how he ended up beneath the white folding table, pressed against the wall and holding his scalpel in his shaking fist, though he felt as though something were chasing him. Something that would sense if he made any movement, something that a scalpel or any weapon would be useless against, something unspeakably evil whose shadow would blast his soul to bits. Everything was silent, even the radio, and he stayed, afraid to breathe, afraid to move, afraid to even think.

Slowly, ever so slowly, the feeling faded and he began to breathe normally again, lowering the scalpel and wondering what had come over him. Several minutes later, Cecil began speaking again, cutting into his previous announcement with a shaky report about "a creeping fear that came into town today". Carlos shivered, glancing up at the banging footsteps up above him. Delaney dropped down the hatch into the lab, her face pale. "What the hell- did you-"

"Yeah," he answered grimly. "I don't understand."

 **A/N- Yes, I made references to four completely different other fandoms in this (five billion bonus points if you caught them all). Sue me. Actually, don't. I don't know anything and I never will. Thanks!**


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